I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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