Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
