that's an acceptable place to lick
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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