yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
