Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
