Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize