carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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