OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
