And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
