he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
