can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
