I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
