I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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