Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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