Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
