Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
