STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
