doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
