So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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