so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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