I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
