why didn't you poke me back
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
