last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
