I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
