i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize