I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
