Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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