I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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