Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
