My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
