i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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