He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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