ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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