sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
