Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
