so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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