I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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