you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
