My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
