Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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