I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
