Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize