Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
