it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
