With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
