Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
