Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
