i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
