so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
