May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
