Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
