The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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