i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
