I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He kissed a someone with a penis
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
