I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
