You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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