I wish I could punch you in the face.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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