If i come over, it means nothing
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
