so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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