Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
